|In a world of moral uncertainty and depravity, I'm your best bet for NFL wagering.|
Rabbi Itzalok has again huddled with the Divine One to predict the outcome of this coming weekend's National Football League playoff games.
Here are Rabbi I's picks for this all-important next round:
- Baltimore Ravens at New England Patriots. QB Joe Flacco will become Hashem incarnate, leading the Ravens to a 31-21 victory over the Pats. Get thee behind me, Belichick!
- New York Giants at San Francisco 49ers. Even if Eli is slightly ill, the Giants will mercilessly stomp the hopes and dreams of the 'Niners, 37-29.
Best part of the Denver Broncos' playoff loss to the Patriots: In response to a column in which he'd said the Patriots "exposed" the Broncos, sports journalist Bob Ryan received this email:
Exposed? You are the one exposed. Wrath of God. May the Lord of all creation tear you apart.Dear readers, may the Lord of all creation tear you apart also--with jaw-dropping NFL playoff action! Thy will be done, holy shit, and yatta-yatta.